REVIEW: Harry Potter 7 DH Pt. 1

LONG TIME, NO POST

Much alike many movie-goers, i ventured out to my local movie theater to watch the newest overly hyped Harry potter film over the weekend. Let me preface this by saying I am a big fan of the series, I have enjoyed everything to do with it. I am aware of the fans who decide to dress up, that is completely understandable. Heck I even sported a Gryffindor scarf. However with many things, there is a certain line i will tolerate, and the movie going experience I had was definitely NOT ok. No I will not comment on how it was boring as fuck, or how unnecessarily long it was, or even how it wasn't in 3D.

I mean WTF guys, That shit was a bummer

But when I was in line, a mystical fellow decked out in dumbledore clothing creeped up behind me, all this I had gathered from his hot, stale breath on the back of my neck. As I slowly turned around I felt relief for a split second, until i saw them...

Following close behind was legions and legions of short people, all dressed in their favorite characters, cloaks and assortments. Now I have nothing against short people, but what really got my goat was what followed out of Dumbledores mouth "Excuse me sir can we have your place in line, we are more dedicated fans"

Being with friends i shook off the need to oblige, and politely told him no, to which his response was forcefully pushing his way through our group, along with his short people legion. Now this probably hasn't happened to many, but without a doubt it is a guaranteed way to piss you off. What followed was the scuffle the likes of our theater had never seen, ending with the ejection of Wise Dumbledore and his troop of undersized wizards.


Now maybe I didn't love the movie because I had all of this hatred running through my mind during the viewing, but to conclude this rant about a ruined experience, I would like to state that sometimes fandom can be WAY TOO MUCH AND RUIN A MOVIE AND CAUSE AN ANNOYED VIEWER TO STATE THAT HE HAS HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH PUSHFULL SHORT PEOPLE.

PUN INTENDED

REVIEWING: TRIP ADVISORS BAD REVIEWS

Recently, the "Hotel/Motel/B&B Expert"  TripAdvisor.com has come under fire by various owners Hotel owners because they feel reviews on their businesses were too " Malicious and Harsh" from past customers. Just like Dwight Schrute once said, "A couple of bad reviews there, you may as well close up shop." It seems his words ring far too true..

"81% of travelers recommend Schrute Farms as per Tripadvisor" 

Although I do see the cause for anger if I myself was put in their situation. No matter any way you slice it they are all still businesses which require income and they all have their respective expenses, even if it is a hooker palace ran out of your own backyard. Which according to the enraged owners that is how they feel their businesses are being represented on TripAdvisor, something that is making the precious B&B industry bone dry these days. Lets face the facts who the fuck would want to go the Quality Inn in Stroudsburg, PA in goddamn October?

"The Birthplace Of Chlamydia "

In conclusion if you have half a goddamn brain you will make sure to go on TripAdvisor to check out your accommodations before spending a week at "Joe's Seafood Shack Hotel" in Palm Springs and catching a new strain of Hepatitis while you are out there.


For a more detailed look of places to stay the fuck away from head over to TripAdvisor and check out their 2010 Dirtiest Hotels here

Sex In The Church

"I am a Huge Faggot, Please Rape My Face"

Apparently the faggot on the left, commonly referred to as Bishop Eddie Long (GREAT PORN NAME) has these CRAZY accusations that he fucked three underage men, two who have came forward. A direct quote from The Guardian UK website explains ..."Two of the three men, then aged 17 and 18, allege that Long plied them with gifts including cash, cars and trips abroad" This depicts some sort of weird gay fuck fest in the tropics, with this man feeding you dollar bills while you tearfully caress his body. I'll just let you conjure up a nice mental image real quick....

100% Straight

THURSDAY HAIKUS

Rapper "Ice Cream"

LIFE OF A BOSS DAWG,

I AM ALL ABOUT THE SCRILLA,

DAMN MAN IM BLEEDIN

ME AND MY HOMIE,

WE CRUISIN DOWN COMPTON STREET,

 DAMN MAN IM BLEEDIN    

PULL OUT MY KNIVES,

 FUCK GUNS I KNIFE NIGGAS YO,

OH SHIT IM BLEEDIN

   SHIT ITS A KNIFE FIGHT,

    SKATEBOARD XBOX YO GAME BOY,

  HEY KIDS DONT DO DRUGS

Ladies and Gentleman knife violence is not a joke, please talk to your loved ones about it.. And Parents a child is never too young to be educated on Knife fights. May I suggest more educational yet "hip" haiku's to keep the child's interest, with all of the skateboard game boys and pn3s they are making these days...