Monday, November 28, 2011

Tower Heist: An In-Depth Movie Review....

This recent weekend I finally decided to leave the house and watch a movie in theaters. As soon as I arrived at the movies I was begrudgingly forced to pick between three terrible choices, the lingering idea of driving back home seemed like a very good idea at the time. I decided that I had came this far to see a movie I am not leaving without sitting through one. My final choice was to watch the Action-Adventure Comedy with an ensemble cast of male actors.

This movie had a very strong cast of actors but not one single star captured the show. I will be rating performances of the cast on a Letter grade scale of (F- to A+),  the talent included...
Ben Stiller (  B+ )

I am giving Ben this rating I was pleasantly surprised with his performance. I feel like he gets ragged on too much with doing stupid movies but he really did a good job in this movie and was very entertaining. I was sort of rooting for this character the whole time and I was pleased with the film's outcome. That is why Ben Stiller receives a (B+).

Matthew Broderick ( B )
Awesome to see him back on the horse again, but it is a very eerie feeling seeing him looking this old. Defintely was crept out by seeing him act like such a pussy in this movie when he was so bad-ass in Ferris Bueller. Like seriously he was a fucking pussy. His character was a broke wall street guy who was squatting in this expensive apartment building. So in other words not really the ideal heist man like goddamn this motherfuck looks sad and lonely.
He actually plays a pussy pretty well though so he gets a ( B ).

Eddie Murphy (B-)
In this movie Eddie plays the most blackest, thuggest, deceiving motherfucker. He is a typical quick talking thug who always seems to be getting himself into trouble. He doesnt know much about nothing and doesnt really ever help out in the actual heist, and he plays kind of an asshole and maybe even not a likeable one. On the positive side this is much better then what Eddie has been doing before this and it was a step back into the right direction. Looking forward to seeing more like this ( B- ).

  Casey Affleck (C)

Big surpise here in this movie for some fucking reason Casey plays an even bigger asshole then Eddie Murphy. He is the concierge in the apartment building and a shitty one at that. Whenever his character came on the screen I got pissed off and hated how his character developed throughout the movie and then the cliche return at the last moment. Fuck you Casey Affleck you get a (C)

These are the only cast reviews I am going to do but otherwise I was pleased with the actors.

Actual Movie Review
was actually a decent movie with some good twist and turns that kept you going. Didn't really feel like a comedy at sometimes because there weren't that many actual jokes, but admittedly it was entertaining none-the-less. For that reason entirely is how I based my review.

6.8/10 - Decent flick, wouldn't want to spend money on it again  

There you fuckers go, sorry for the long wait...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Lazy as Shit (guilty post)

I realize I have not updated the blog in a while, and I feel like a shithead for not being able to find the time for one. On the off chance you want to get your fix on the the go, I have been "tweeting", as gay as that sounds. If you are into that thing you can follow me on twitter @davidpeddigrew, oddly enough I have been pouring some comedic effort into twitter. Who knows you may see a surprise post in upcoming weeks...

Monday, July 25, 2011

Horrible Bosses Review - Also...Pot Brownies

July has been a very busy month and I have been wading through bullshit knee-high. I have however managed to squeeze some nights out, most which have been as shitty as sitting at a desk all day. However, I come to you now with the detailing of a very special night out.

DISCLAIMER: I watched the following movie, Horrible Bosses, under the influence of some good ol' fashioned "Space Cakes" (also known as weed brownies, the person who helped me made them INSISTED on calling them that, whatever tickles your pickle I guess)

"Bang on impression"
The Lead-Up 
I need to let it be known that my choice to see "Horrible Bosses" was a spur of the moment choice. After ingesting said brownies, a certain yearning came over me. I had needed to GET THE FUCK OUT from where I was, because I had began to, as the kids call it, wig out. I convinced my pals in order to calm down I needed to leave ASAP, so we hopped on the first bus that came down the street, a decision that will never turn out as well as it did this time, so don't fucking try it. As it turns out the buses final stop was the local movie theater, a fate so fittingly for a man as high as myself. So we stumble up the stairs, eyes as red as the devil's dick, giggling like a gang of hyena's. We slapped all the money we had and just asked "for a funny movie". I mean if I were ever to serve myself, I would fucking hate me. After spending an atrocious amount of money on food, we managed to find decent seats in a packed theater.I began to settle in, I placed my drink to my right (PS. I never knew proper etiquette on this, WHAT FUCKING SIDE DO I PUT IT ON?), shuffled my popcorn and candy onto my lap and I was ready to go.

The Viewing
The moment the opening credits rolled, I was locked in. I watched this movie like a man possessed, constantly analyzing and pondering every frivolous detail. Due to my extreme highness, the first laugh came at the familiar face of Jason Bateman, which then left a bitter taste in my mouth. (Over Arrested Development, i'm still pissed). In retrospect, the casting of this movie was phenomenal. I was mainly impressed by the inclusion of Charlie Day, or "Charlie" from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia".
(The Hornet smoking man in the video)

Other notables include Jamie Foxx as "Mothafucka Jones", Jennifer Anniston as a nympho dentist, Colin Farrell as a balding cokehead and Kevin Spacey as your typical asshole boss. The basic plot is three buddies scheming to kill their bosses, a fantasy most can relate too. Now I am not here to re-write the whole fuckin movie so I'll get down to brass tax. During my first viewing of Horrible Bosses I was literally on the floor with laughter, and saw it as a revolution in film making. I wiped tears of laughter away from my eyes as I clutched my chest for release, hoping I would be able to breath in between these fits of laughter After viewing it a second time, this time much more sober I still enjoyed this movie but it was a hollow feeling, knowing it will never live up to my high expectations.

Therefore, I have decided to give Horrible bosses two separate ratings...

Horrible Bosses (HIGH) : 9.5/10
Horrible Bosses (SOBER) : 7.25/10

Overall, a decent flick. A enjoyable black comedy that is bound to create some laughs. I recommend you go out and see it yourselves if you are into that kinda thing, because after all I am just an asshole in front of a keyboard, so take my ratings with a grain of salt.

BTW. Thanks for all the support and all my followers, stay tuned and I will try and write MUCH more often...

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Well Fuck, I'm Lazy... (A Night Out At The Bar/Movie Recommendations)

Wow, glad to see this shit-boat is still afloat... Hopefully my hiatus hasn't deterred my followers, who I was under the impression checked this site everyday, because lord knows I didn't. In all seriousness as school winds down, apparently so does my love-life which basically means I am back on the prowl for gutter sluts. So if anyone here is interested I am going to divulge what transpired one night at the local bar... (If not just skip your arrogant ass to the bottom where I have some interesting movie picks/ratings)

A Night Out At The Bar

     After what seemed like an endless cycle of beating my meat, eating cereal alone, and getting caught up on Breaking Bad, I felt like my life needed a change (or a real pussy).

(A seriously great show, highly recommend it)

I got all dressed up in my best T-shirt and wrinkled khaki's, the same exact pair I had almost shat in last year at the farmers market. (*Note: never eat quesadillas off a cart*) I loaded up on cologne from various bottles, reasoning that if I smell strong enough she won't focus on my appearance. So I ventured with some buddies to a local bar, because I figured if I can't get laid I might as well walk home. The place we went to was notorious for hosting a wide array of dirty birds, biker dykes, and aforementioned "gutter sluts". We entered the place with a strict plan and a very straight forward plan at that, which was to get our sorry asses laid. The first girl I talked too really wasn't having it, but most girls play coy so I pressed on. After an eternity of one word answers and blank stares, I used the good ol' "I have a dart game to go". Girls "2,3,4" were a blur of rejection and shame so I will leave their cunt faces out this retelling. (I DIDN'T EVEN WANT YOUR STINKY PUSSIES ANYWAY). Now girl 5 was when the night finally got interesting, who I shall refer to as "Brenda" . Brenda was a real "meat n' potatoes" kinda girl, and by that I mean she had a lot of meat on her and smelled like scalloped potatoes, which didn't deter me one bit. As the conversation turned to Pillow Talkin', it seemed  like I may have found a slump buster. After a few more rounds this girl was ready to go but also noticeably inebriated and very sweaty. We walked back to my apartment (A classy gent like me will NOT call a cab for a hook-up). As I entered my apartment I began stripping and was completely ready to go if you catch my drift... So caught up in my lust-filled stupor I had forgotten where Brenda was. Tip-toeing like a Jewel Thief I peered through all possible doorways and nooks, looking for my gargantuan accomplice. After not finding her anywhere in my house I figured I had been duped once again. So I returned to my comfy, ass-sweat stained computer chair and began to stroke the salami once again. After getting up at the crack of a dawn, I needed to run out of the house for some groceries, so I got my poop in a group and left for the store. Upon exiting my apartment what I saw next bewildered me... Brenda was passed out In the hallway.So close.. Yet so far away. 

Moral of the story: Pony up the extra 8 bucks for a cab, it may be the difference between getting pussy or feeling the shameful embrace of your right hand once again.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Thoughts On The Green Hornet (With some other bullshit)

I firstly must apologize for my long absence, I had tried to write more entries but nothing was really happening in my world worth writing about, and if something was I sure as fuck didn't know about it. If you want to be an asshole and skip straight to the review of the movie, you may do as such.

At lot of really uncool shit went down, but long story short, my ass got DUMPED. After the typical ice cream dinners and all day showers I was able to pull my self enough out of the gutter to ask a girl out again. Granted she wasn't what most people would classify pretty as, and to be honest she resembled Danny Devito.

Can you imagine the kind of BJs this guy gives??
I figured if I was going to take this girl out, I might as well see a movie that had been catching my interest recently, "The Green Hornet".